A relationship is actually the practice of “relating”
A relationship only contains the illusion of another person
Even though we think another person is making us feel bad, or making us feel excited, they aren’t. All feeling, good or bad is coming from inside us. The other person we’re relating to is just helping us gauge whether we’re keeping ourselves happy or not. Other people help us understand what we like and don’t like. Truth is, we never really know other people because we see, hear and feel what we perceive they’re doing. All relationships are what we’re feeling towards others.
All relationships are what we’re feeling towards others. A partner, friend or colleague isn’t making us feel anything, they’re just helping us feel the “vibe” we’re in. We get into this vibe by the way we’re looking at it. The way we think about what they’re doing or should be doing then causes us to feel something, good or bad. If it’s a bad feeling then we’re creating a bad relationship and vice versa.
Relationships don’t break up
Relationships don’t actually break up, people just stop relating in a way that keeps them happy. Take for example, our more intimate relationships. Both partners stop relating to each other in a loving way. When they first met, they felt an excited attraction and had no expectations about how a partner should behave. Then as time passes, they each perceive the other needs to change and do things their way. The relationship changes from” just being around you makes me happy “to “you need to be more like this“. The attitude changes come about because we’re not taking care of our vibe. Then we feel unhappy and of course look to the nearest person to fix it!
We can often fall into the illusion of feeling the other person is pulling away. The fact is, we’re only perceiving it that way. In reality, we’re pulling away from the happiness we had going on. We move from a higher vibration into a lower vibration and can only experience situations that match up with that vibe. If we think the breakup is because someone is letting us down, we’re deluding ourselves. It’s how we’re relating to the other person which is letting us down.
MOMENT OF CLARITY
If you want to know how a relationship is doing with anyone, just ask yourself what attitude you are holding towards them. What are you feeling? That’s the status of YOUR relationship. You don’t have to stay in a relationship if you don’t want to but it’s not how they are treating you that is the cause of the pain, it’s how you’re relating to them. You’re free to change it.